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New article up now!
5 signs that you are in the wrong relationship
It takes time - for most of us - to understand we are the main character in our own lives. Unfortunately, some people allow themselves to be the background actor in someone’s story; to be treated as plan B; to be the missed calls on important dates; to be disrespected on so many levels where they get used to being out of the script. From our personal to our professional lives here are five tips we should pay attention to:
1 - Stop writing huge texts for those who hurt you. They don’t care. ‘Oh, but I want him to know how much he hurt me’. He knows. He knew it before and he knows it now - but he just doesn’t care. Have some self respect. Grab your dignity and leave.
2 - If you are trying really hard to see someone. Guess what? Someone is not really into you. ‘He has been so busy at work’. He is not busy, believe me - he just doesn’t wanna make time for you - period. Walk away. Nobody is getting younger and you are wasting your precious time. Remember: never treat as plan A who treats you as plan B.
3 - If he is committed to someone else and is having an “affair” with you - I’m sorry for saying this but you are trapped in a karmic relationship full of red flags where you lie to yourself each day waiting for something good to come out of it. Karma really is a bitch, watch out and be ready for the consequences that will come along.
4 - Long distance relationships can be hard but if someone lives in the same city (no matter how big) and always finds excuses to not see you. Remember: far is somewhere we don’t wanna go. When we want to see someone we find ways to make it happen.
5 - ‘He is not rude, he has just been through a lot recently’. Nope, he is nasty and is probably using any situation as an excuse to be abusive. It doesn't matter if it’s in your personal or professional life you should N-E-V-E-R, never allow anyone to take advantage or to hurt you with words, actions and physically. The life in front of you is way more important than the one behind you. So, move on!
Being emotionally intelligent is understanding that not all relationships are for us, not all jobs will work out, not all friends will be there when you need them the most, sometimes the people we love will hurt us and it’s fine - since it’s not intentional. You are the main character in this movie called life, own your script and remember to deliver a big show - together or alone.
Bruno Rangel @brunnonewyork
I’m offended
Patrick was that type of person who always finds ways to feel offended in order to get what he wanted. Living under the victim mentality, he started to believe that, because he was different, he was automatically running behind. And as predicted, that mindset affected the way he communicated and led to mental health issues that broke his heart into pieces--issues that only a therapist could fix.
One night he entered a barbecue place in the West Village and ordered two slices of pizza:
‘Margherita and pepperoni, please.'
'I’m sorry, we are a barbecue place, unfortunately we don’t serve pizza. Would you like to take a look at our menu?’
This was the moment when Patrick - passive aggressively - started to attack the server because, in his mind, the world should be serving his needs, and he could not take "No" for an answer: How come a barbecue place doesn't serve pizza? Many places do that, it’s unbelievable!
And instead of going to a pizzeria, he decided to take it personally. He fed his soul with anger, rejection, and a sense of being uninvited. How many times have we felt rejected just because someone could not give us what we wanted?
People - most of the time - get hurt, and they keep hurting others as a defense mechanism. They are barking up the wrong trees, seeking validation on apps where everyone has a fake, happy life while the real existence is right in front of them. Relationships today are so superficial that they can’t last longer than a Tik Tok video. There is this urge to be liked by strangers - the need to go viral - when in fact our heart is already sick and damaged by the fear of being dismissed.
When did we become this person full of expectations that we ask for more than we can give?
It’s never too late to understand that we need to love ourselves more than the need for people’s approval; eliminate the feelings that no longer serve us - anything that is disrespectful and depreciative. Society and politics will always try to label and manipulate us with victimization narratives. If we don’t know who we are, people will tell us who we are, and - believe me - most of the time it will be something degrading…
When we are honest with ourselves, magical things happen. Know your worth!
YOU WILL BE REJECTED, and that’s fine. It’s not the end of the world. Our society is creating a generation of fragile and weak people brainwashed by irrational agendas. Not everyone will want you around. Period. Some people will love you no matter what you do. Some people will hate you no matter what you do. Go where the love is.
Written by: brunnonewyork
Edited by: @daniyanqui
Valentine’s Day
Have you ever experienced true love?
I'm not sharing any breaking news here. We all know that Valentine's Day is a time for romance, the perfect period to surprise or to be surprised; the opportunity to show where our heart stands, to hear the sound of the "L" word whispering in our ears first thing in the morning; to start a new relationship or maybe to realize it's time to leave: "Hey, we need to talk".
This is also the moment when society brings on the pressure: "Are you single? Why? You are so handsome..." It's the same when we look for a job being unemployed; they think we may have a problem. Unfortunately people - especially in the gay scene - attach love to being attractive or successful and that's a miserable way to define a relationship. Look around you, how many people are really experiencing genuine true love?
(silence in the room)
Jokes aside, the world is definitely a scary place to face it alone, and it is awful to think that some people will drastically live their entire lives without true love. Others will get a taste of it and eventually have their hearts broken. A very small percentage will have the opportunity to find their soul mates, kindred spirits or whatever you wanna call it. I know, sounds unfair, but that's how things are.
We are in 2022 close to 8 billion people glued to their phones swiping, texting, exchanging likes, posting, showing off, trying to get attention at any cost; we do have the tools to put all the pieces of the puzzle together, so why is it so hard to find the Mr. Right?
The main reason is because nowadays we are all connected, but emotionally - off line. Many of us still believe in this fairy tale that one day someone will show up changing our lives and we'll be happy forever. It is easier to think that way instead of moving our asses and making ordinary kisses become extraordinary stories. We want that Cirque du Soleil sex, full of impressive positions. We want flowers everyday. We want to keep our freedom while also having someone available when we fall apart. We want everything we can't be. Not even Saint Valentine could make this happen.
On the other hand, there are those who jump from one relationship to another because they fear loneliness or there is a convenient way to make life ea$ier. People who believe that their comfort zone will bring some peace eventually face a backfired love, a fake relationship that put them in a restaurant full of people right on Valentine's Day, when in fact they are empty inside, full of unhappiness: stuck in an okay relationship, imprisoned in an okay life because okay is a "safe place".
Love takes courage, sacrifice. Love should be obvious (look at someone's eyes when they are talking, never fails); we can be ourselves (from our sweet to our dark sides). Love is when we see someone approaching in the arrivals hall at the airport: "He is back". Love is when we scroll through some pictures on our phones from that unforgettable trip and if we could write a caption it would be: "How happy I am next to you". If you have one of those feelings go ahead, love, make love... and love!
Written by: Bruno Rangel
Edited by: Daniel Franken
franken.daniel@gmail.com